Hi I’m Marla. Gimme a Minute.
I want to talk to you about birthdays. I hope you’re having one this year.
Let me be the first to wish you a very happy birthday.
You wanna know why I like birthdays so much? You know the obvious, it’s better than the alternative. But there are a few more perks you might not know about. I’m here to share them with you.
First of all, during your birthday MONTH… yes, I said month… you get to be right every time there’s a disagreement. Not on simple things like what’s two plus two, but disputes like whose turn it is to load or unload the dishwasher, who makes the best morning coffee and picking the restaurant for dinner.
But there’s more. Calories are discounted the ENTIRE month of your birthday, and on your ACTUAL birthday, calories don’t count AT ALL. In fact, everything you eat on the actual day of your birth has NEGATIVE calories.
So go ahead, let your friends take you out for Breakfast, lunch AND dinner, and feel free to have a second piece of cake….
But seriously, the most important thing to know as you get older is that your friends NEED to be reminded when it’s your birthday.
Even your best friends.
And if they do forget and send you belated wishes, let them off the hook. Hey, you’re getting older, so are they. They forget things.
It’s very sad.
But I didn’t forget.
Have a happy birthday. I’m Marla. Thanks for listening. See ya.