Hi. I’m Marla. Gimme a Minute. I wanna talk to you about work.
Well, your work environment, that is..
Businesses are scaling back these days, so if you currently have your own office, you might soon be asked to share workspace with one or more people.
Being subjected to loud, obnoxious and/or personal phone calls.. long distracting chatty visits from other co-workers.. constant interruptions for meaningless banter and offers to show you “this cool new YouTube video,”… smelly lunches eaten at the desk and the empty unwashed container left out open… all of these potential distractions will cause great dissatisfaction.
I don’t care how much you love what you do, or how much they pay you, a negative office environment can destroy all that within a week, forcing you to leave your otherwise perfect employment.
Before you become the victim, become the mastermind.
Eat lunch at your desk every day. Bring tuna mixed with onions and garlic and spread it on fresh celery.
When you work, hum. Or talk to yourself.
Twice a day, at a set time, have one of your unemployed friends call you on the office phone for an important reason. Never be available to answer the phone, always leave that to your office mate, and then have your friend beg your office mate to find you to take the call. Never talk for longer than ten seconds.
Work hard to become an employee of distinction, and if your office mate complains (and why wouldn’t they) your employer’s only relief may be to return you to your private office.
I’m Marla. Thanks for listening. See ya.