You are Fired

I’m Marla.  Gimme a Minute.  I wanna talk to you about getting fired for no reason. I’m not talking about when you do something wrong, like stealing from your employer, rampant tardiness and excessive unexcused absence, or getting massages in the back room during work hours…

I’m talking about getting “let go” when the employer perceives some random flaw you exhibit.  …. None of this….we’re so sorry, but it’s just not working out.
I’m talking Fired.

Get out.

Give me your key right now, clean out your desk.

If you’ve never been fired, I’m here to tell you that being fired is survivable, and in some instances, enjoyable.

The first time I was fired, it was for insubordination.  It’s ok.  I deserved it.  My boss was an ass, but he was still my boss.

The second time I was fired it was because I was too depressed about my ex-boyfriend dumping me to do my job.  It’s ok.  I deserved it.  My ex was an ass.

The third time?   it was really unclear to me why I was fired because I had just gotten a  good performance review.  Maybe it was because I let it be known I thought the managing partner was an ass.

The most recent firing came as the result of a bad health year….being sick sucks ass.

I never planned to get fired, but I will tell you, if you ever qualify for unemployment benefits, go for it.

Don’t be an ass.

I’m Marla.  Thanks for listening.  See ya.