Marla's Gimme a Minute

I Only Need 60 Seconds!

Yes Ma’am

Hi. I’m Marla.  Gimme a Minute.  I wanna talk about when I went from being a “miss” to a “ma’am.”  I remember the day. 

I was in my 30’s, the offender was some punk kid in his late teens or early 20’s at my local grocery store.  I about smacked him. Then I remembered this was that very same store where a few years earlier, I had tried to buy a bottle of wine but didn’t have my ID on me, and they wouldn’t sell it to me.  I remembered being pissed then too.  I realized I can’t have it both ways.  So  I thought to myself, he’s young, he’ll learn.

Shortly after that I went to a local bar with two girlfriends.  We were all about the same age.  They got carded, I did not.

That’s when I knew I was in trouble.  I started coloring my hair.  Wearing clothes that made me look more trendy and less trustworthy.  Like bad girls are younger or something. 

After years of trying to pull off the façade of not aging, I finally gave up.  Yes, I still color my hair, but I try to dress my age and act it as well. 

Just recently, a young-ish waiter at a nice restaurant seated me, and as he handed me the menu, he said, “would you like a beverage miss?” 


Are you freaking kidding me?  I’ve earned every one of these wrinkles buddy, It’s Ma’am to you. 
I’m Marla.  Thanks for listening, see ya.


2 responses to “Yes Ma’am

  1. Margot Israels January 9, 2012 at 11:01 am

    Ah Marla, I remember it well! It was a 17 year old Winton Marsalis who called me the offending name. (He’s 50 now!) I chalked it up to being raised in New Orleans and therefore being extremely polite. How could it possibly be my age?!

  2. andy millage January 10, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    It was in Texas as a young mom (29 or 30). Every female that wasn’t your own mother was “Miss” Something of “Maam”. Caught me by surprise at first then I got used to it. It was MUCH harder to hear it when I moved to Bellingham because then it wasn’t out of courtesy is was just because I was an antique.

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