Hi I’m Marla. Gimme a Minute. I wanna talk to you about the rules of grocery shopping. Or at least, the rules that would make me happy…
What’s the rule for who has the right of way in a parking lot, the person backing out of the spot, or the car driving down the aisle? It seems that whichever one of those two is me, it’s never me. Is it ever you? Is it always you?
And there needs to be a rule about grocery store aisles. Why aren’t they always wide enough for three shopping carts? And why, when they’re only wide enough for two, why do two carts stop so close together that I can’t get around them. There needs to be a rule for carts and where you can stop and FOR HOW LONG.
And what about when, for some reason, every egg carton has at least two cracked eggs? There should be a limit. Or a discount on that dozen.
And there needs to be a time limit for people who stand right in front of the freezer section, lifting, checking out and replacing each bag of frozen chicken, As if they were different. As if it were a life changer . .
Come on people, decide already.
And finally, special rules for shopping from 5-6pm. Every checkout should be 15 items or less, except the one on the way far end.
Yeah. I’d shop there exclusively.
I’m Marla, thanks for listening, see ya.